did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
