Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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