This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
