My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
