it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize