Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize