Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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