Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My cat gives me a boner
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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