maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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