my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
