So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize