Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
