Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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