What did we do last night that was yellow?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
