It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
