Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's never too late to be topless.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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