I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
