im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize