I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
