A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
