There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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