Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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