I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
