We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
