R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
