I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
