Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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