This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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