she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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