when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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