Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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