the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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