Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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