A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
