I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
