Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize