I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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