Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize