i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
