drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
