I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
