the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
