There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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