who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
