i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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