the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
