"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize