The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
