does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
