It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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