I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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