Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
