Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
