And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
