Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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