its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
