I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
