That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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