she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
