so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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