You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
