you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
