Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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