the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
