12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize