The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
