I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
