ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
