Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
