yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
