i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Less talking, more tequila
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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