i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
