wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
