can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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