Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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