i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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