I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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